Whatever was going on in March, I found myself striving to accomplish. I became impatient with myself; my sluggish overweight body; even with the sheer energy that I had to summon to reach goals I had set for myself. Some of these goals were long-standing, like spearheading a metaphysical center for personal growth of the individual.  I knew that nothing would manifest if I did not put some energy towards making things happen, so I started pushing myself.

The inevitable happened. The Universe pushed back. I allowed myself to get out of sync. Instead of breathing, meditating, and patiently relaxing to stay in the flow, I allowed the energy around me to become more of a roller coaster. I fell. One minute I was upright. The next minute I was lying on the floor, chin on a small footstool, arm underneath me, throbbing.

This was the beginning of 8 weeks of attitude shifting. I could not drive my car, so I had to have someone drive me to the doctor’s and to run errands. I was grateful that people came forward to help me. I was also grateful that I could allow myself to make the best of it and not become discouraged. I accepted this as an opportunity to regain my own flow; to accept what I could not change.

A friend came forward with a gift of 2 weeks of frozen meals, so I would have nutritionally and proportionally balanced food on hand. This helped me get on track with my eating habits. I continued to eat better after the meals were consumed. I feel better, and I’ve lost some weight.  

I continued classes in my home. Those who attended took my garbage to the dumpster; changed my sheets, helped unpack several bins of items I had brought with me from my latest trip to NC. They hung things, lifted things, cleaned things that I could not manage on my own. I relaxed the little wall of independence that I had built around me. This wall had kept others at a distance.

The love that came through all of these friends shook me; shook loose that wall I had built.  I realized that the love had been there all the time, but for me to feel it, I had to be forced into a position to Receive, instead of to Give.

It is more comfortable for many of us to Give than to Receive. The Bible tells us that it is more blessed. We certainly gain a lot when we give from the heart, with no thought of reward, but not enough thought is given to the benefits of opening up to receiving…the flip side of that coin.

We live in a material, physical plane of duality. It is up to us to seek the balance between the high and the low, the pushing forward and the holding back, the giving and the receiving. As we experiment with balance, we learn. As we find the balance, we flow. Opportunities present themselves. All we have to do is generate the thought of what we want, allow ourselves to stay in a rate of vibration where we feel good, and let the Universe bring us choices that are in harmony with that vibration. The fun is in the choosing. The fun is in the act of balancing the results of all our choices, but the Joy comes when we realize that it is up to us; it is really up to us, and we experience the results of the better choices.

We would be better off to listen to the Truth that is within us. Every one of us has a knowing that will guide us properly if we pay enough attention. We can ignore this niggling reminder when it is reminding us of something that we do not want to face. We can ignore it when others around us are doing something different and appear to be happier, more successful, reaching goals that we would like to reach. It is easy to shut down this Voice of Personal Truth temporarily, but never permanently. We can call it Conscience, but let’s don’t. Conscience brings up images of “the shoulda’s…guilt….error.” Let’s look at it as a spark of Light, Love, and yes, Joy. Truth. Our Truth.

It is our connection to the Creator, the God-Power, the Universe. It is the spark of divine that is within each of us…..the part of us that was made in God’s likeness. It is what makes us equal to all. It is what connects us to all while we are on this earth plane, experimenting, learning, and growing, being ourselves; our individual selves. Being constantly aware of this divine spark will keep us aligned with what is right for us, while we are aligned with the God-Power. It will help us maintain our individuality while we remain conscious of the love and protection of God.

Life on earth is for learning, for growing, for creating and to do all of this joyfully. Does that surprise you? Your background and culture may have instilled in you an overwhelming sense of responsibility and guilt and strict obedience of a given set of rules. It is difficult to shake that training, but it can be done. Perhaps you’re not convinced that you are supposed to live in joy. Perhaps you feel like a sinner or at least a rebel that must suffer the consequences of your erring ways. I don’t ask that you accept these words on faith alone, but I do ask that you test it for yourself. Deliberately replace your burdensome thoughts with words of encouragement and upliftment. “I am filled with Life and Health and Joy.” “I am connected to God always, who wants only the best for me.” “God is happy when I respect myself.” “If anyone can do it, I can do it.” Use the words as a mantra and say them over and over to force out negative thinking. Later, you can focus on the meaning of the words and become emotionally involved with them. Believe them from your heart. As you start believing them, you will feel better. As you feel better, you will start thinking and behaving in more productive ways. As you think and behave in more productive ways, you will attract to yourself others who are behaving in more productive ways, and your cycle of life will show increasing signs of improvements. Baby steps. Just do it and keep it coming. Let your choices be increasingly better ones, beginning now.

Blessings and success to you all.

My love, Spencer